Parenting a Parent

Life sure isn’t easy at times, especially when you find yourself right back in a situation you’d thought you’d never be in again.  Changing diapers?  I thought I wouldn’t have to do that again until the great-grandkids arrive.  Suddenly, however, we find ourselves waking up in the middle of the night again, only this time it’s not a crying baby but a complaining parent.

Millions of children around the world are now finding that they have to take care of their aging parents much like they had to take care of their growing children.  Our retirement, the thing we looked forward to for so long and saved so hard for, now looks like it will be taken up completely by the care we feel obligated to provide for our aging parents.

There’s no need to lose sleep over it just yet, however.  There are many steps you can take now to ensure that any care you need to provide to your aging parents will be swift and easy.

Provide a Safe Home

Just like you did when your own children were growing up, you’ve got to make sure your parents are living in a safe environment.  Go through your parents’ house and look for any risks, from cluttered areas to inadequate smoke detectors.  Pay close attention to the bathroom and any problems this may cause in the future.  After all, one of the leading causes of death among seniors is falls, and most of those occur in the bathroom.

Lighting is another area that is often overlooked when it comes to caring for our aging parents.  If there are too few light fixtures in the house, or if those that are there are just too dim or unnatural, seriously consider adding more or replacing those already there.  Night lights in the bathroom and along the route to it are also smart choices.

Many seniors and their families should seriously consider the effect of having stairs in their home will have upon them.  The constant bending of the muscles and joints of the knee can be excruciating for seniors already having problems in this painful area.  The work required to walk up and down stairs several times a day can be too much for many aging seniors.  Even if you can’t move into a single-level home, planning your trips up-and-down the stairs can reduce needless trips, and needless wear-and-tear on your joints.

Have a Schedule

If you’re lucky enough to have siblings, start talking to them at once about how your parents are aging.  Making a clear delineation of chores between family, whether it be getting groceries a few times a week or making the weekly doctor visit, can go a long way in smoothing the aging process for everyone.

One of the worst things that can happen is that one sibling does more work than another.  This happens quite frequently, and often through no fault of their own.  Today’s distanced families often have to communicate over the phone or travel long distances to see one another.  In those circumstances, taking care of finances can often be the easiest thing for those family members to do.

And if you’re doing it alone, try to remember that your parents had to struggle with you as well.  When you’re the only child, a schedule can be your greatest friend when dealing with your aging parents.

Make Technology Your Friend

There are many gadgets out there today that will help you help your aging parent or family member.  Besides providing them with a cell phone, which many may not have even in this day and age, there are other ways to use technology to your advantage.

• Consider motion sensors if you have a particularly accident-prone senior on your hands.  These devices can alert your or medical professionals when any type of accident is detected.
• Use email to keep in regular contact without the hassles the phone can often entail.  Short messages back-and-forth are often more convenient for you than longer telephone conversations.  Still, those calls do count.
• Use Skype when aging relative are far away.  This increased contact goes a lot further than you think in relieving age-related stress, anxiety, and loneliness.  Seeing the young grandchildren run around is worth a lot more than hearing them in the background.

Clear-up the Finances

Realizing that your aging parent or relative won’t be there one day is something we all talk about and expect.  That’s what wills are for, after all.  But it’s the financial situations that arise when aging seniors are still alive but not fully-able to take care of themselves that often cause worry and headaches.  Sitting down with your parents and other family members to discuss all possible eventualities is a positive and constructive step in the aging process.  No one knows what will happen tomorrow, but with a few well-laid plans, even the most daunting dilemma can be overcome.

• Think of the emergencies first.  What will happen if there’s a serious illness or accident tomorrow?  Are you prepared financially for the hospital bills and other expenses that will quickly pile up?
• Consider the long-term costs associated with aging.  These small things, from medications to doctor visits, really add-up over the years, and making a detailed budget that accounts for them will ease a lot of worried minds.
• Plan for extra costs.  Perhaps you don’t want to discuss everything with your aging parent or relative just now.  Many don’t take it well at first when in-home care or personal hygiene issues come up.  These are things that you need to think about, research, and plan for on your own.

Caring for your aging parents or relatives is not a bad thing.  They cared for you when you needed it, and now it’s your time to return the favor.  Aging is something that we all go through, and it doesn’t have to be a negative process.  Careful and thought-out preparations today will enable you to lead a worry-free life tomorrow.  Your aging parents are an integral and important part of your and your children’s lives.  Take care of them today so that tomorrow is as good as it can be.